Divorce is rarely straightforward, emotionally or legally. Unfortunately, many people in North Carolina go into the process with significant misconceptions. Falling prey to some of the most common divorce myths can lead to confusion, unrealistic expectations, and costly mistakes. Whether it’s about property division, custody rights, or who gets the house, misinformation spreads fast and can hurt your case. Understanding your options and debunking widespread divorce myths in NC can help you move forward with facts, not fiction, so you’re not relying on hearsay during one of life’s most important transitions.
Myth #1 – You Have to Be Legally Separated in Writing
There is much confusion about North Carolina’s one-year separation rule. To file for divorce in North Carolina, spouses must have been separated for at least one year and a day, which means that couples must have lived in different homes for that time. While you must prove that you have lived separately, you do not need written documentation to be legally separated. This surprises many and highlights common myths about North Carolina family law attorneys and the separation process.
Written documentation isn’t necessary. However, it can be helpful to show that you each lived in a separate residence and that at least one of you intended the separation to be permanent.
Myth #2 – Adultery Automatically Means You Lose Everything
North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state. This means neither spouse has to prove the actions of the other caused the marriage breakdown. That also means adultery does not automatically mean you lose everything in a divorce. It can impact other divorce aspects, like alimony and child custody.
When the court is settling alimony issues, the state allows a judge to consider marital misconduct. State law prohibits alimony awards to a spouse who has engaged in illicit sexual behavior, like adultery. If the supporting spouse engages in illegal sexual behavior, the court can order that spouse to pay alimony to the dependent spouse.
Adultery does not automatically bar a parent from child custody or visitation. Yet, the opposing parent can bring up the behavior to point out a potential lack of stability or parental fitness.
Myth #3 – Mothers Always Get Custody
One of the most significant misconceptions about North Carolina divorce centers around child custody. There is still a prevalent myth that mothers get preferential treatment over fathers. North Carolina child custody decisions are based on the “best interests of the child” standard. The court evaluates specific factors based on the best interests of a child’s overall well-being. The legal system recognizes the benefit of allowing a child to establish and maintain a positive relationship with both parents. Joint custody arrangements are common unless a parent cannot provide a safe or healthy environment for the child or there is a history of violence, domestic, or sexual abuse.
Myth #4 – You Can’t File for Divorce Until You Agree on Everything
For many couples, if they can’t agree to stay together, there is a good chance they can’t agree on divorce terms. You don’t have to agree to everything before moving forward with a divorce. In North Carolina, a contested divorce is when spouses disagree on key issues. These issues include property division, alimony, child custody, and visitation disputes. Under a contested divorce, couples take their case before a judge, who intervenes and decides on the contested issues. Agreeing to divorce terms and filing an uncontested divorce may be simpler, but it is not required.
Myth #5 – You Can File for Divorce Immediately
Although you may be ready to divorce your spouse and start fresh, North Carolina does allow couples to file for divorce immediately. The state imposes a one-year and one-day separation period. Couples must live separately for one year and a day before filing for divorce. The state also requires you or your spouse to have lived in North Carolina for at least six months.
Myth #6 – Everything Is Split 50/50
In North Carolina, property division is settled using the equitable distribution model. This confuses spouses because equitable division sounds like a 50/50 split. It doesn’t have to be. Instead, equitable division means the court distributes marital property according to what’s fair. What constitutes a fair split depends on the circumstances of the relationship. Generally, the court considers things such as:
- Income of each spouse
- Age, health, and needs of each spouse
- Duration of the marriage
- Contributions made by each spouse
- Child custody arrangements
- Tax consequences
A 50/50 split is not always fair. The court takes the time to evaluate relevant factors and can divide property based on those factors.
Myth #7 – You Must Go to Court
There are many misconceptions about divorcing partners always ending up in front of a judge to hash out their differences. That isn’t always the case. Sometimes, a relationship doesn’t work. Both partners can file for an uncontested divorce when they agree on divorce terms. In an uncontested divorce, spouses agree on essential issues like property division and alimony. Instead of a full trial, spouses attend a short hearing to formalize their divorce terms. You go to court, but not in the traditional sense that divorcing couples may think of.
Other options exist, such as alternative dispute resolution (ADR). Mediation is an ADR method that fosters communication between spouses to help them resolve their differences. In mediation, a neutral third party oversees communication and negotiations, allowing partners to work together to find mutually beneficial solutions. Less expensive and more private than a contested divorce, mediation helps couples avoid court and customize divorce terms.
Myth #8 – You Don’t Need a Lawyer
The North Carolina divorce myth that puts more couples in financial jeopardy than any other myth is the myth that you don’t need a lawyer to help you. If you are separating from a spouse, you can’t afford not to have legal representation, even if you are on good terms. A skilled divorce attorney can guide you through filing for divorce in North Carolina. They can also work with you to pursue what you deserve.
Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney Now
During an emotionally overwhelming divorce, you need the support of our experienced team of North Carolina divorce attorneys who will help demystify the sometimes-complex process and guide you forward. At Marshall & Taylor PLLC, our divorce attorneys in North Carolina want to help you find a fresh start. Contact our office now at (919) 833-1040 and arrange a confidential consultation to discuss your situation and legal options.