Going through a divorce doesn’t have to mean going to war. At Marshall & Taylor PLLC, we help couples in Wilmington, NC, resolve their divorces through collaborative divorce—a process that keeps you out of the courtroom and puts you in control of your future.
What is Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative divorce represents a fundamentally different approach to ending a marriage. Rather than fighting in court, both parties commit to resolving their divorce through cooperative negotiation outside the courtroom. Each spouse retains their own attorney, but both attorneys pledge to work toward a settlement rather than litigation.
This process transforms divorce from an adversarial battle into a problem-solving partnership. Both parties agree upfront that if negotiations fail and the case goes to court, both attorneys must withdraw. This commitment creates a powerful incentive for everyone involved to find solutions that work for both families.
Unlike traditional litigation, collaborative divorce emphasizes transparency, respect, and mutual decision-making. You and your spouse maintain control over the outcome. You make decisions about your children, finances, and future—not a judge.
The collaborative divorce process operates under principles established by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP). North Carolina recognizes it as a legitimate alternative dispute resolution method.
How the Collaborative Divorce Process Works in Wilmington, Nc
The collaborative divorce process follows a structured framework designed to facilitate honest communication and fair resolution:
Step 1: Participation Agreement
Both parties and their attorneys sign a participation agreement committing to the collaborative process. This agreement establishes the ground rules and confirms that both sides will work toward a settlement. The agreement also includes the disqualification clause—if either party chooses litigation, both attorneys must withdraw.
Step 2: Full Financial Disclosure
Each party provides complete and transparent financial information. This includes income, assets, debts, retirement accounts, and all other financial details relevant to your divorce. Transparency eliminates surprises and builds trust in the negotiation process. North Carolina law requires full financial disclosure in all divorce cases, and collaborative divorce ensures this happens early and completely.
Step 3: Structured Negotiations
You and your spouse meet face-to-face with both attorneys present. These meetings follow a structured agenda. You address property division, support, custody, and parenting time systematically. The collaborative process addresses each issue systematically, allowing both parties to express their concerns and priorities.
Step 4: Neutral Professionals as Needed
Depending on your situation, the collaborative team may include neutral financial experts. Child specialists help develop parenting plans that serve your children’s best interests. These professionals work for both parties, not just one side, ensuring objective analysis and recommendations.
Step 5: Agreement and Court Approval
Once you and your spouse reach an agreement on all terms, your attorneys prepare a settlement agreement. You then submit this agreement to the court for approval, finalizing your divorce without trial. The court reviews the agreement to ensure it complies with North Carolina law and protects both parties’ interests.
Throughout this process, you control the pace. Meetings happen on your schedule, not the court’s calendar. You make the decisions, not a judge.
Key Benefits of Choosing Collaborative Divorce
Avoid Court and Litigation Costs
Collaborative divorce typically costs significantly less than contested litigation. You eliminate court filing fees, expert witness costs, and extensive attorney time. With collaborative divorce, you know your costs upfront and control how much time attorneys spend on your case. Litigation creates unpredictable expenses as cases drag through the court system.
Protect Your Children
Children suffer when parents fight in court. Collaborative divorce minimizes conflict and allows both parents to focus on their children’s well-being. You and your spouse work together to create schedules and decision-making structures that work for your family. Research shows children adjust better to divorce when parents maintain respectful relationships. Our Wilmington child custody attorneys understand how to prioritize your children’s needs.
Maintain Privacy and Confidentiality
Court proceedings are public record. Your financial details, personal struggles, and family conflicts become available to anyone. Collaborative divorce keeps your information private. Your negotiations remain confidential, and sensitive matters stay between you, your spouse, and your attorneys. For business owners and professionals, this privacy protection prevents sensitive business information from becoming public.
Control Your Timeline and Decisions
In litigation, the court controls your timeline. Cases get delayed and pushed back based on the judge’s schedule. Collaborative divorce puts you in control. You and your spouse determine how quickly the process moves. You make all decisions about property division, support, and custody rather than having a judge impose solutions.
Preserve Dignity and Relationships
Litigation creates winners and losers, which breeds resentment. Collaborative divorce allows both parties to preserve dignity throughout the process. You work toward solutions that both parties can accept. This respectful approach often allows former spouses to maintain civil relationships—particularly important when children are involved and co-parenting continues for years.
Collaborative Divorce vs. Litigation
The differences between collaborative divorce and traditional litigation are substantial:
Cost: Collaborative divorce typically involves lower overall costs than contested litigation due to reduced court time, fewer motions, and streamlined negotiations. Contested litigation often requires extensive discovery, depositions, and trial preparation, significantly increasing expenses.
Timeline: Collaborative divorce usually concludes within 6-12 months. Litigation frequently takes 18-36 months or longer, with some complex cases extending several years. The court’s schedule, not your needs, controls the pace in litigation.
Control: In collaborative divorce, you and your spouse make all decisions. In litigation, a judge makes final decisions on contested issues, and you must accept those decisions even if you disagree.
Outcomes: Collaborative divorce produces mutually agreed solutions that both parties can live with. Litigation produces a winner and a loser, with one party’s preferences imposed by court order.
Emotional Impact: Collaborative divorce reduces conflict and stress through respectful communication. Litigation intensifies conflict through adversarial positioning and courtroom battles.
Privacy: Collaborative divorce remains confidential. Litigation becomes public record, with all financial and personal details available to the public.
Relationship Preservation: Collaborative divorce facilitates ongoing respectful relationships. Litigation often damages relationships irreparably through adversarial tactics.
When Collaborative Divorce Works Best
Collaborative divorce works effectively when both parties are willing to cooperate and communicate honestly. It works particularly well when:
- Both spouses want to avoid court and litigation costs
- You have children and want to minimize their exposure to conflict
- Your financial situation is relatively straightforward
- You value privacy and want to keep personal matters confidential
- You prefer to control your own outcomes rather than having a judge decide
- You want to preserve a respectful relationship with your ex-spouse
- You’re willing to be transparent about finances and priorities
Collaborative divorce may not be appropriate if one party refuses to cooperate, if there’s a history of domestic violence, if substance abuse issues exist, or if there are severe power imbalances between the parties. In these situations, traditional litigation or mediation may be more suitable. We evaluate your specific circumstances to determine whether collaborative divorce is the right approach for your family.
The Marshall & Taylor PLLC Collaborative Divorce Approach
At Marshall & Taylor PLLC, our firm guides clients through collaborative divorce with experience, compassion, and skill. Our family law attorneys understand that divorce represents a major life transition, and we help you navigate it with dignity and respect.
We work with you to evaluate whether collaborative divorce fits your situation. If it does, we guide you through each step, ensuring you understand your rights and options. We coordinate with neutral professionals when needed and advocate for your interests while maintaining commitment to the collaborative process.
Our Wilmington office serves families throughout the Cape Fear region. We understand North Carolina family law and local court procedures. We bring this expertise to collaborative negotiations, helping you reach fair agreements that protect your interests and your children’s well-being.
We believe that most divorces can be resolved cooperatively when both parties commit to finding solutions. Our collaborative approach reflects this belief and produces outcomes that families can live with long-term. You can review our client testimonials to see how we help clients feel confident every step of the way.
Frequently Asked Questions About Collaborative Divorce
How much does collaborative divorce cost?
Collaborative divorce typically involves lower overall costs than contested litigation. The exact cost depends on case complexity, how quickly you and your spouse reach an agreement, and whether you need neutral professionals. We provide transparent fee estimates upfront so you know what to expect and can make informed decisions about your case.
How long does the collaborative divorce process take?
Most collaborative divorces conclude within 6-12 months. The timeline depends on how quickly you and your spouse reach agreement and how complex your financial situation is. You control the pace—meetings happen on your schedule, not the court’s calendar. This flexibility often allows people to resolve their divorces faster than litigation while maintaining the quality of agreements. Learn more about how to file for divorce in North Carolina.
What if we can't agree on everything?
If you and your spouse cannot reach agreement on all issues through collaborative negotiation, you have options. You can continue negotiating, bring in a mediator to help resolve remaining issues, or transition to litigation. However, if you choose litigation, both collaborative attorneys must withdraw, and you’ll need to hire new attorneys. This built-in consequence encourages both parties to work toward settlement and reflects the commitment both parties made at the beginning of the process.
Do we need financial experts or child specialists?
Whether you need neutral professionals depends on your situation. If you have complex assets, retirement accounts, or business interests, a financial expert can help analyze these issues fairly. If you have children and want professional guidance in developing a parenting plan, a child specialist can facilitate these discussions. These professionals work for both parties and help ensure fair, informed decisions. We recommend neutral professionals who’ll genuinely help resolve issues, not as an unnecessary expense.
Is collaborative divorce legally binding?
Yes. The settlement agreement you reach through collaborative divorce is legally binding and enforceable. Once the court approves your agreement, it becomes a court order. Both parties must comply with its terms. The agreement receives the same legal force as any divorce judgment, with full enforceability through the court system. North Carolina courts recognize and enforce collaborative divorce agreements just as they do any other settlement agreement.
What happens if one party wants to stop the process?
The participation agreement you sign at the beginning establishes what happens if either party withdraws. Typically, if one party abandons the collaborative process and chooses litigation instead, both attorneys must withdraw. This means both parties must hire new litigation attorneys, which creates additional cost and delay. This provision encourages both parties to commit to finding solutions through collaboration and reflects the mutual commitment required for the process to work.
How is child custody decided in collaborative divorce?
In collaborative divorce, you and your spouse work together to develop a parenting plan that serves your children’s best interests. Rather than a judge imposing custody arrangements, you create schedules and decision-making structures that work for your family. If helpful, a child specialist can facilitate these discussions and help you think through your children’s needs. The result is typically a more flexible, customized arrangement than a judge would impose, and one that both parents have helped create. For more information, see our guide on how child custody is decided in NC.
Can we use collaborative divorce if we have significant assets?
Yes. Collaborative divorce works well for complex financial situations. In fact, the transparency and cooperation of collaborative divorce often produce better outcomes for high-net-worth divorces than adversarial litigation. A neutral financial expert can analyze complex assets, retirement accounts, business interests, and investment portfolios fairly. This expert helps both parties understand the true value of marital assets and develop equitable distribution agreements that comply with North Carolina’s equitable distribution laws. Learn more about how property division is determined in NC.
Contact Our Wilmington Collaborative Divorce Attorneys Today
If you’re considering divorce and want to explore an approach that protects your family, controls your timeline, and preserves dignity, we’re here to help. Contact Marshall & Taylor PLLC today to schedule a consultation with one of our collaborative divorce attorneys.
During your initial consultation, we’ll discuss your situation, explain how collaborative divorce works, and help you determine whether it’s the right approach for your family. There’s no obligation—we simply want to help you understand your options.
Call (919) 833-1040 or complete our online contact form to schedule your consultation today.