It is a good idea to stop viewing an argument as a contest that you have to win. Instead, you should “be able to view an issue as one that you are jointly solving” because doing so “creates feelings of connection and teamwork,” says San Antonio couples therapist Amy Kipp.
It is also a good idea to make it known to your spouse that you acknowledge his or her feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree or empathize with them. Williamsburg, Virginia marriage therapist Amanda Deverich said, “Validating your spouse’s feelings doesn’t mean giving up your own truth, it just helps you reach a compromise.”
“Let’s say you were supposed to look after the kids when you came back from work. If your spouse remembers you saying you’d be home by 6 p.m. but you don’t recall saying that, you could validate it by saying, ‘I can see why you’d be frustrated if you thought that, given how many times I’ve been late in the past,” Deverich added.
Our attorneys at Marshall & Taylor PLLC, who provide legal services to our clients in Raleigh and other areas in North Carolina, handle family legal cases such as divorce and legal separation, among others. Call our offices today at 919-833-1040 to set up an initial meeting with one of our qualified legal representatives.